In a world where children wish they were grownups and adults dream of being younger, the great escape into the world of online social networking has given everyone the opportunity to fulfil some of those age-defying fantasies. Adults spend hours in childlike bliss as they play games that create worlds of fantasy farms, villages, battlefields and casinos, while children act older and want to socialise and have long conversations with cyber-friends beyond playing the same games their guardians play. The crossover into each other’s worlds is fun, filled with excitement and the obvious escape into the space they wish they could be. But where are children escaping to?

On Saturday morning a man who I met on a dating site greeted me and we eventually befriended each other in a more socially networked environment. The environment is irrelevant to the relationship, which is based on the communication of flirting and seduction. It took me a moment to realise that there was something unusual about the conversation I was having with this man and when it turned to talking about “My dad was born in …” I realised something was amiss: I was chatting to his 10 year old daughter.

“Step Aside” is a product of Lifeology because of our understanding that the internet is a vital place for children to learn, explore and grow. It is no different and not necessarily any safer or more dangerous than your children playing in a park. No parent wants to hold their child’s hand or restrict their freedom or stifle their child, but every parent makes sure that their child plays in a safe environment.

Safety is perceived and what makes one guardian feel comfortable might not work for another, yet the reasoning is always the same: keep your children safe yet free enough to explore and grow.

My instincts kicked in and the reasons why the company gave birth to “Step Aside” sprung into action. Did the little girl’s father know she was using his profile? Who else was she talking to? Did they know that she wasn’t talking to her daddy? Where was her dad?

Her father had given her permission to talk to his friends, yet I was the only one who had worked out that it wasn’t him I was talking to. Now that was fun in her world. After a little coaxing she told everyone who she was and sadly some people dropped the chat, which hurt her a little. Next was to figure out if her father had really allowed her to run freely in a world that is not ideal for children. A little more coaxing and dad took over for a quick chat. He was busy pottering around the house and cooking and needed the kids to entertain themselves. Isn’t that so familiar?

The response was what concerned me most of all. He trusted his daughter and he trusted his friends that she would talk to. Yet we have never met, live in different towns and he has no idea of my agenda. How dare he trust me? In her innocence and the pursuit of her perception of grownup fun, she had not lived up to her father’s expectation of trust. A little less aware and I was about ready to become flirtatious. After all, that is the dynamic of her father’s relationship with me.

She was adorable and we spoke for a good few hours. I kept encouraging her to play but it was raining and her siblings were watching movies she had seen so many times. No kid thinks it’s cool to play with their father all the time and anyway, this was an exciting adventure.

On the same day my under-aged nephews and another friend of theirs all popped onto my chat to say ‘hi’. They were playing the childlike games intended for adults and their guardians were also happy for them to escape into the world of perceived safety.

Are your children ever safe when exposed to live chat?

I have a friend whose reassurance was shattered after she had allowed her under-age son (who she trusted implicitly) to only accept people she knew and only chat to his friends. She was entitled to check his chat at any time as well as have full access to his profile. That seems settling enough, yet another guardian, who had most probably expected the same from their child, was about to find out that their young and impressionable child had allowed curiosity to lead them into the abyss of internet. These children were swapping stories about the adult content they had managed to discover despite the firewalls. That’s an adventure all on its own: discovering how to break the system.

The internet is as safe or as dangerous as any of us make it and as adults we also fall into the traps of deceit, mistrust and danger, as wise as we might think we are. Guardians do not want to deprive their children of this world , yet they want to keep them safe within it too. Therefore the greatest gift you can give a child is to ensure they are playing within the internet yet in a space that you do not have to overly protect. That is what you would do in the outside world isn’t it?

Restricting online chat might feel unfair to a child, yet guardians seem to give in to that plea. Those same guardians don’t give in to certain pleas that might put their child in danger in the outside world. What is the difference?

Chats can be deleted, tracks covered and the evidence hidden, all the while it seems like innocent fun. Every avenue of life should be explored and children should be exposed to all that is possible in the world. Yet, you would not leave your child to learn about the mortality of the body by leaving them with a stack of knives. No matter how much you trust your child, the one thing that is always forgotten is that children are curious.

What a beautiful gift, curiosity.

- Jodene